Stacy Zenly

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Hello, my friends! In today’s post, we’re diving into Part 2 of Decode Your Feelings. If you haven’t read the Part 1 yet, I highly recommend checking it out first – you can check it out here.

In this post, we’ll explore how some emotions act as “cover emotions,” masking deeper feelings. We’ll also discuss simple steps you can take to peel back the layers and uncover what’s really going on. Plus, I’ll share one of my favorite meditative practices for processing emotions mindfully.

So, what’s the big deal with these cover emotions? In Part 1 of Decode Your Feelings, we discovered that sadness and anger are examples of cover emotions. As you might remember, cover emotions are like a layer of paint over a deeper, more complex emotional canvas.

Sadness

For example, sadness might be the emotion that greets you after a tough situation, but if you dig deeper, you might uncover:

• Resentment toward someone who didn’t understand you, or hurt you

• Guilt for actions you regret

• Fear about what comes next.

Anger

Similarly, anger might be your go-to reaction when something feels unfair, but the root cause could be:

• Fear of being powerless or vulnerable,

• Guilt about not taking action sooner,

• Resentment toward someone.

But sadness and anger aren’t the only emotions that can mask deeper feelings. Other emotions like jealousy, irritability, anxiety, disgust, surprise, and confusion can also serve as cover emotions.

Let’s break them down:

Jealousy

Jealousy often masks feelings of insecurity or fear of not being lovable. You might feel jealous if someone is getting attention you think you deserve or if there’s a perceived threat to a relationship.
Deep down, jealousy could be tied to a fear of not being enough, not being lovable, or being abandoned. It’s less about the external situation and more about the fear that you might not be good enough or worthy of love.

Envy

Envy, on the other hand, is about desiring something that someone else has—whether it’s success, possessions, or a quality you wish you had. While jealousy is more related to relationships and attachment, envy is often tied to a lack of self-worth or fear of not being enough.

Irritability

Now, think about irritability. We’ve all had those days when even the smallest things get under our skin. But beneath that irritability might be stress, unresolved anger, or resentment.

If you’re holding onto a grudge or feel that someone has wronged you in the past, even without realizing it, those unresolved feelings can bubble up as irritability in your interactions with them. It’s as if the past still lingers and gets triggered by the present moment.

Anxiety

Then there’s anxiety—a constant hum of unease that many of us experience. It can mask deeper feelings, like:

• Fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown.

• Insecurity about not being prepared or good enough.

• Helplessness when faced with situations beyond your control.

For instance, if you’re anxious about a presentation, the deeper fear might be about not meeting expectations or being judged.

Disgust

Even an emotion like disgust can serve as a cover emotion. Disgust, while visceral, often hides deeper emotional reactions such as:

• Fear of contamination—not just physical but emotional or moral.

• Shame about something you perceive as unclean or unacceptable in yourself or others.

Surprise

Another commonly recognized cover emotion is surprise. Surprise, particularly when it leans toward confusion or shock, can mask:

• Disbelief or denial about a situation.

• Fear of change or losing control.

• Vulnerability or insecurity when faced with something unexpected or unfamiliar.

For instance, a surprising revelation might unsettle you because it challenges your worldview or forces you to confront something you weren’t prepared for.

Apathy / Emotional numbness

Now let’s talk about apathy or emotional numbness, or, in other words, the absence of feeling, which often acts as a protective mechanism but it can mask:

• Hopelessness when a situation feels too overwhelming to change.

• Fear of confronting pain or failure.

• Resentment when you feel your efforts or emotions are unappreciated.

For example, apathy toward a challenging task might not mean you don’t care—it could indicate you’re feeling helpless, undervalued, or unsure about your ability to succeed.

Helplessness / Hopelessness

And now, let’s move on to helplessness and hopelessness. These emotions often go hand-in-hand and can mask:

• Fear of failure or losing control.

• Shame about not being able to meet expectations.

• Grief over a loss you haven’t fully processed.

• Inadequacy, feeling like you’re not enough to overcome the situation.

For instance, helplessness in the face of a major life challenge might actually stem from deep-seated fears of not being capable or worthy, while hopelessness might arise when you feel disconnected from potential solutions or support.

Excessive Pride or Arrogance

Finally, let’s also talk a bit about excessive pride or arrogance. At first glance, pride or arrogance may seem like confidence or self-assurance, but when they’re excessive, they often serve as defense mechanisms. These emotions can mask:

• Insecurity: Arrogance may arise from a deep fear of inadequacy or feelings of not being enough. Overcompensating with excessive pride can be a way to avoid acknowledging vulnerability.

• Fear of Rejection: Excessive pride might protect against feelings of rejection or failure by projecting an image of superiority.

• Shame: Sometimes, arrogance covers up shame about past mistakes, personal flaws, or perceived weaknesses. By putting on a façade of perfection, individuals avoid confronting these feelings.

• Resentment: Beneath arrogance, there may also be lingering resentment, often tied to past experiences of feeling overlooked, undervalued, or mistreated. This resentment can fuel a need to assert superiority as a way to reclaim a sense of power or importance.

For example, someone who constantly boasts about their achievements may be deeply afraid of not being valued for who they are beyond their successes. Their arrogance might act as a shield to prevent others from seeing their underlying doubts or struggles, and it could also be a reaction to unresolved resentment toward those who previously dismissed or underestimated them.

This is why it’s important to understand that the emotions or triggers we feel are often just symptoms of deeper, underlying feelings.
As Brene Brown and other thought leaders on emotions emphasize, the feelings we notice are often symptoms of something deeper.

Understanding that some emotions might be masking deeper feelings allows us to peel back the layers. Once we identify the root, we can begin to address the real issue, not just the surface reaction.

By examining what’s beneath the surface, we can approach our emotions with greater clarity, compassion, and self-awareness, leading to healthier responses and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

How to Identify and Decode Your Emotions

Now that we’ve talked about cover emotions, let’s explore how to decode what you’re feeling.. Some of the steps I’m going to introduce will be a recap from Part 1 of Decode Your Feelings, while others will be brand new. So, here are the steps:

Step 1: Pause and Tune In

When you feel overwhelmed or reactive, take a moment to pause. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and give yourself the space to feel, without judgment, how this emotion is experienced in your body: its temperature, intensity, sensations, and exact location.

Step 2: Name the Emotion

Once you’ve created that space, ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” Is it anger? Sadness? Frustration? Labeling the emotion helps create clarity and takes away some of its power over you.

Step 3: Explore the Cause

Now, ask yourself: “What’s really going on here?” Is your sadness masking guilt, or is your anger hiding fear? Take some time to reflect on the possible root emotions that might be underlying your initial reaction.

Step 4: Try a Meditation Practice to Sit with Your Emotions

Once you’ve identified the root emotion, try the following meditation practice to deepen your understanding. Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed. You might also want to set a timer for 5–10 minutes (or 15 minutes for deeper results). Then, sit down, close your eyes, and simply focus on the bodily sensations associated with the emotion you’re currently experiencing.

Sensations might include tightness in your chest, fluttering in your stomach, a lump in your throat, or another distinct sensation. Pay attention to the temperature of the emotion—whether it feels hot or cold—and identify the areas of your body where these sensations are most prominent. Try to observe all the subtle physical sensations this emotion induces and focus your attention on the most prevalent ones.

The important thing to remember is to avoid engaging with the inner dialogue or mental stories that usually accompany emotions during this practice. Instead, simply observe the physical sensations, staying present in the moment, and keeping your body as relaxed as possible. If images, memories, or situations that triggered the emotion arise, acknowledge them without engaging in the narrative. Shift your focus back to the physical sensations the emotion brings.

As you sit with the emotion, repeat the following affirmations to help shift the energy:

“Yes, I feel… (and name the emotion you’re feeling). I allow myself to experience this anger, guilt, resentment… (name whatever emotion you’re feeling). It’s completely okay to feel whatever I’m feeling right now.”

A little later into the practice, you can add:

“This emotion of… (name the emotion) is simply energy in motion, flowing freely through my body. I lovingly accept this energy, I allow it to be, and channel it toward my dreams, goals, and projects.”

Feel free to repeat these affirmations as many times as you like throughout the meditation.

This practice helps you process emotional energy, allowing you to channel it into something productive and healing.

Step 5: Journal and Reflect

After your meditation, grab your journal and ask yourself the following questions. I mentioned some of these questions in Part 1 of Decode Your Feelings, while others are new or expanded. Here they are:

1. What emotions am I feeling right now, and what are they trying to tell me?
2. What personal needs or desires lie beneath these root emotions, and what can I do now to address them?
3. What specific personal boundaries have been crossed, and how can I assertively yet politely communicate this to the person involved? How can I set and maintain these boundaries in the future? Do I also need to establish boundaries around certain activities, such as gadgets, social media, food, habits, or other behaviors that might harm me when overused?
4. What limiting beliefs or fears about myself and the world around me are underlying this root emotion, and how can I change these limiting beliefs into more empowering and positive statements?

In Part 1 of Decode Your Feelings, I went into detail about how to identify and transform your limiting beliefs, so be sure to check out that post here.

And the last questions :

5. Where I wasn’t completely honest with myself or others, which led to the emergence of current emotions? And how can I align my life, and my behavior even more with my values and my authentic self?

6. What would the best version of myself do or say in the situation where I was triggered, and how can I implement those insights in the future?

So, these are the main 5 steps for decoding emotions and feelings that I find particularly helpful in my life.

Ideally, you might want to go through these five steps of decoding your emotions daily as part of your morning or evening routine. For instance, you could set aside some time at the end of the day to reflect on what triggered strong emotions in you throughout the day. Then, try to decode the key emotions—or perhaps focus on the one that was most prevalent—by going through all the steps we discussed earlier.

I deeply believe that taking care of our emotional well-being is just as important as taking care of our physical bodies. These steps serve as a form of emotional hygiene, similar to daily practices like taking a shower or brushing your teeth. They can help prevent the buildup of emotional burdens and allow you to feel less emotionally triggered and reactive in your daily life.

Tools and Practices for Emotional Awareness

Ok, now let’s talk about some additional tools that you can use to deepen your emotional awareness.

If you’re looking for additional support, you can turn to tools like emotion wheels to help you identify emotions and find the right words, or mindfulness and meditation apps.

Personally, I love the app called Mindfulness — it offers powerful meditations, mindfulness practices, calming music for your meditative sessions, and insightful courses from renowned teachers. If you’re curious, click on this link to start your free 7-day trial!

Closing Thoughts

Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with this thought: the emotion we feel is often the symptom, not the cause.

By learning to decode your emotions, you unlock the power to respond with intention, clarity, and self-compassion. Each time you pause, reflect, and process, you build greater emotional resilience and strength.

One of the most important takeaways in decoding your emotions is to view them not as obstacles, but as energy in motion. Each emotion—whether joy, anger, fear, or shame—carries valuable information and energy. Instead of resisting them, we can choose to sit with them, understand them, and eventually transform that energy into something positive.

This doesn’t mean suppressing or ignoring emotions. It means allowing them to flow through you without judgment, without attaching negative labels. Emotions are simply signals, and how we respond to them determines how we move forward in life.

So, my friends, take a deep breath, feel what you’re feeling, and trust yourself to navigate through it. You are capable of turning any emotional challenge into an opportunity for growth!

Thank you for reading until the end! If you found this helpful, please share it with someone who might need a little emotional clarity in their life.

So, until next time, take care of yourself, stay mindful, and remember—you are always worthy of love, care, and self-compassion!